Would a Hooters Survive in the Danbury Mall?

Hooters restaurants are dropping like flies.

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Hooters is Tanking 

According to USA Today, a minimum of 44 locations have closed and it appears there are more on the horizon. The report says the explanation is:

"Pressure from current market conditions."

That is CEO, CFO, COO speak for we're f---! All the C's speak like that, to try and keep their existing employees returning to jobs that won't be there in 18 months. Anyway, here are the locations that have closed the doors for good.

• Sanford, Florida
• Orlando, Florida – Kirkman Road
• Kissimmee, Florida – Osceola Parkway
• Melbourne, Florida
• Atlanta, Georgia – Downtown
• Douglasville, Georgia
• Gwinnett, Georgia
• Valdosta, Georgia
• Greenwood, Indiana
• Rockford, Illinois
• Newport, Kentucky
• Flint, Michigan
• Taylor, Michigan
• St. Louis, Missouri – Downtown
• Charlotte, North Carolina – South Boulevard
• Columbia, South Carolina
• Rock Hill, South Carolina
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
• Memphis, Tennessee – Downtown
• Nashville, Tennessee – Harding Place
• Grapevine, Texas
• Houston, Texas – 120 FM 1960 W
• San Marcos, Texas

Ooh, if you work for Hooters, Orlando had to be a tough loss. You would think, since that entire city is built on poor choices, that Orlando would be a stronghold. I'll bet that one stung at the board meeting.

But enough about Florida, let's talk Danbury, Connecticut.

If Any Place Could Make It Work....

No, there are no plans to bring a Hooters to the Danbury Mall, it's a just a question and I think a valid one, because of the amazing business gymnastics that have taken place there, in the post-Amazon world.

If you don’t recognize what a rare breed the Danbury Mall is, you haven’t been paying attention. While most malls are ghost towns with dying anchor stores, Danbury’s still pulling crowds and packing its parking lot like it’s Black Friday year-round.

Somehow, they keep staying ahead of retail trends—and even more impressive, they’ve cracked the code on getting people to put on real clothes, leave the house, and shop in person, like it’s 1985 and the internet doesn’t exist.

Other Malls Around the Country are Dying 

Let's look at the rest of the country's malls using some VERY helpful statistics I found from Capitol One:

• Estimated current number of U.S. malls: 1,200
• Projected number of malls by 2028: As few as 900
• Estimated number of large shopping malls remaining in 2022: As few as 700
• Annual mall closures (2017–2022): Average of 1,170 malls per year
• Historical mall closure rate (1986–2017): 581 malls per year
• Projection: Up to 87% of large malls may close over a 10-year span
• Vacancy rate of shopping malls in 2021: 11.4% (high-end average)
• Number of U.S. malls in 1986: 25,000 (large and small)
• No new indoor megamalls built since 2006
• Mall space demolished in 2022: 2 million square feet

The Question 

Basically, the rest of the country does not have a solution to the problem and Danbury has the secret sauce. So, could this rare market and the wizards at the Hat City Mall keep a glorified strip club open?

My Thoughts, (if you care, I barely do):

My best guess would be, in spite of the obvious next-level s-- going on at the Danbury mall, it's a lost cause. I'm the furthest thing from a prude but I never understood how Hooters ever worked in this country.

The truth is, I’m not a strip club guy—and that feels like baseline info you need to understand why Hooters never really worked for me. I get that no one’s taking their clothes off in a Hooters, and yes, they’ve been calling themselves a family restaurant since forever. But let’s be honest: Hooters and strip clubs operate on the same basic principle.

Just like in a strip club, there’s an unspoken truth hanging in the air at every Hooters: the whole setup relies on attractive women tolerating men they think are butt AKA uglier than toads.

People always say the wings are actually good, and that either can’t be true—or shouldn’t be. America shows up for good chicken; we’ve proven that time and time again. If your chicken really hits, you don’t need an opening act or a waitress singing happy birthday in a goofy, unflattering costume.

Remember when Popeye’s dropped their chicken sandwich back in 2019? It was so popular they literally ran out of chickens. And that shortage sparked a wave of violent incidents that made headlines all over the country.

If your chicken rocks, Americans will literally fight over it—no matter what the waitress wears. Which is about as relevant as Hooters in 2025.

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