I Wrote a Spring Hit for Carrie Underwood Dedicated to My Allergies
Ah, Spring! Warmer weather, sunshine hangs around longer, beautiful flowers, everything is green. What is there to complain about?
UGH! Well, now that you mention it -- ok maybe it's me who did the "mentioning" -- whatever, it's out there now and it's in here. It's everywhere, there is no escaping it. You walk outside, pollen grabs on with a vengence and doesn't let go. Spring kinda pulls a Carrie Underwood "Before He Cheats" on you. You know the words, you've sang along. But I have my own lyrics to the Spring version of that song. Here's the chorus of my new smash hit "Before She Sneezes":
I dusted pollen all over the side
Of her pretty little compact front-wheel drive
Made sure she breathed it into her lungs real deep
Eyes all runny, nose red and bright
Made her bronchial tubes feel like they were on fire
Maybe next time she'll take Claritin before she sneezes
There's more but I will save it, copyright laws and all, you know. Hey, Carrie Underwood, call me if you want to record it.