In Love with a River? You Might Be from One of These Connecticut Towns

Did you know a woman in England married a river? Did you know she's deeply in love with it? It's true, she says things are going swimmingly.

According to The Sun, Meg Avon, a 28-year-old from the southwest of England, tied the knot with the River Avon in a ceremony meant to raise awareness about pollution. Yes, she fell in love with and married an actual river.

Despite the fact that the river has been described as kind of gross—like, “vomit-inducing” gross—Meg says the relationship is going great. She’s still so in love and claims she and her “darling” are thriving together, even though she once broke her leg while swimming in it.

Meg says she wakes up thinking about the river and plans her days around it. She even admitted she’s been spending time with other rivers too—but it’s cool because it’s an “open and fluid” relationship. Those were her words, not mine.

Before we crack into this absurd hypothetical, I need to point out how F'd it is that she's "spending time with other rivers." NOT COOL LADY!

Anyway, if someone in Connecticut was to go this route, what town is it most likely to happen in? Here are some of my best (barely educated) guesses:

Stonington – It’s simple math: the more river you’ve got, the more likely you are to end up emotionally entangled with one. Stonington’s got river access for days, so the odds are in its watery favor.

Ansonia – Basically the same deal. This place is like Riverland, CT—if there’s a current, someone’s catching feelings.

Deep River - I mean, come on. It’s literally in the name. If any town is predestined for river matrimony, it’s this one.

Groton – Marrying a river feels like peak hippie behavior, and guess what? Groton was once crowned the Best Hippie City in Connecticut by HomeSnacks. Plus, they’ve got the Thames flowing through, so there’s some actual logic behind the love.

New Haven – Home to the West River and a rough dating scene—WTNH once named it one of the worst cities in the country for dating. So, if Tinder fails you, why not swipe right on the river?

Never forget: People on the river are happy to give. So, you've got that going for you, which is nice.

Who ya got?

I wanted to throw Bozrah in there because it's just a funny town to mention but I don't know their river deal. We talked about this on the Wednesday (4/16/25) edition of the I-95 Morning Show.

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