Connecticut Motor Boaters Will Face New Invasive Species Fee

A Connecticut legislation targeted at invasive species in state waterways passed with bipartisan support Wednesday night (June 5).

Motor boaters on lakes, ponds and rivers throughout the state will now have to purchase an invasive species stamp. The cost for CT residents will be $5 and out of state boaters will pay $20.

According to the News Times, it's the transfer of boats from one body of water to the next that has created an invasive species issue. They say the money raised will go to Connecticut Lakes, Rivers and Ponds Preservation account. The Preservation will be responsible for using those funds to combat the invasive species.

First thought: What qualifies as an invasive species? I asked Ethan Carey (pictured above) who is an avid boater. He told me one that he knew about it and it's called a "zebra muscle." Does not sound all that scary -- I thought we were talking about maybe a shark who ends up in the wrong place or an unidentified mutant fish. This may not be a huge concern for the state, but give it time. There's always some jackass who puts wildlife where it should not be, just for the hell of it.

Next, how does the so-called "preservation" intend on battling these invasive species?

Let me float a solution that creates jobs and will be effective. We launch the "Invasive Species Unit." The Unit will be run by me. I will select a team of hunter/gatherer/fisherman types and form a team. I'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill outdoor, jack-of-all-trades types. I'm talking about certifiable psychos to work under me and get the job done. We hunt these invaders with tridents, guns and explosives, and we dress super-sweet while doing it.

Solution in place. Call me, Connecticut.