Connecticut is the Epicenter for Pretentious Recreation

According to BuzzFeed, there’s a growing list of very specific activities that seem to attract pretentious people — and unfortunately for us, Connecticut might be a goldmine for all of them.

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Walk into any coffee shop in West Hartford and you’ll find at least one person talking about their pour-over technique like it’s a religious experience. Or maybe you’ve seen the guy in cycling spandex who acts like every back road in Litchfield County is the Tour de France. BuzzFeed didn’t name-drop Connecticut, but honestly, they didn’t have to. We know who we are.

Here’s their list of hobbies that apparently bring out everyone’s inner snob:

1. Cycling – “It’s not supposed to be that deep, y’all. We just ride bikes and drink beer.”
2. Meditation – “You wouldn’t believe how narcissistic people get when they first start a spiritual practice.”
3. Disc golf – “Calm down, bro. You’re throwing a Frisbee in the woods. 
4. Audiophiles – “There are two types: the curious and the snobs who claim they hear music ‘the way the artist intended.’”
5. Pickleball – Yes, its fun, but apparently, it’s becoming a full-blown personality type.
6. Wine tasting – No explanation needed. We all know at least one person who “gets notes of oak” from a box of Chardonnay.
7. CrossFit – Enough said.
8. Reading – “People can be entirely too snobby about it.”
9. Luxury watch collecting – Or really, anything luxury collecting.
10. Equestrians – To be fair, horses are expensive, so you kind of have to take it seriously.
11. Photography – Especially the “new” photographers with $4,000 cameras and zero humility.
12. Gamers – “Hardcore” types who call everyone else “casuals.”
13. Charcuterie board aficionados – “Boss, it’s an adult Lunchables. Get over yourself and pass the Swiss.”

Read More: The Best Pizza in Connecticut Revealed

I’ve come around on gamers and charcuterie boards, and I’ve got no beef with photographers — but most of this list is spot on. The meditation part made me laugh, though. It’s just one of the many branches of the wellness world that turns people into cringey quote machines. Look, you can do breathwork, but if you’re telling me about it, you’ve already missed the whole point.

My first wine tasting here in Connecticut was an eye-opening experience. On paper, it sounded incredible — drink wine, wear our best fall outfits, maybe pose for a few leaf-peeping selfies. I was in. But actually, getting drunk at one of these things takes an Olympic level of effort. It didn’t even happen until the final hour, and only after I’d begged, borrowed, and borderline stolen a few extra glugs of wine.

None of it was free, of course — the real cost was the judgmental stares and backhanded comments from the staff. The whole setup feels like a business model built on promise and under-delivery. And if you disagree with that, you either own a vineyard, or you don’t understand booze at all.

P.S. The greatest joke I've ever heard about CrossFit came from the Shane Gillis TV show 'Tires.' They said women who do CrossFit look like Ninja Turtles.