"I'm not a trauma center, it's ice cream." That's the quote from a Massachusetts ice cream store owner who says he was forced to close a day after reopening due to rude customers. According to Fox News owner Mark Lawrence has run the Polar Cave Ice Cream Parlour in Mashpee for 19 years but hasn't see anything quite like the behavior of the customers he encountered on Friday (5/8/20).

You know he didn't just shut the doors from being overwhelmed with demand. You don't run an ice cream shop in Cape Cod for almost 20 years and not know what the hell you are doing. You don't think this dude has dealt with massive lines of horrific families on a 4th of July weekend before? No, this crowd, this group was a brand new living nightmare and it's just the beginning.

This is the tip of the ice cream cone and I've been saying it since the COVID crisis started. You think quarantine was bad? That was nothing, that was Tiger King and Tik-Tok videos. Wait until you send everyone back to "normal life," s--- is going to get real uncomfortable, awkward and out of hand in a hurry.

They'll scream "Me," "My" and "Mine" as they sever heads in the street battling over treats like donuts and iced lattes. Men with green Mohawk hairdos will intimidate the elderly by licking knives covered in pigs blood. Packs of angry children will rob families dumb enough to stop at stop lights and then overturn their cars. It's going to get weird.The quarantine was about bored, the release is about mayhem, it's about intimidation and violence. Cue the Purge.

The Wolf logo
Enter your number to get our free mobile app

5 Greater Danbury Bars I'll Meet You At When This Is All Over


More From The Wolf